The Missing Photos from Texas Blog!!!

Here are the photos missing from my last blog post!

         My awesome home stay family in Texas, Andy and Heidi Wilson and the beautiful Kitten MR!

Ironman Buffalo Springs 70.3

Ironman Buffalo Springs 70.3

10th PRO---- 4hrs 42min----

I have heard many travellers say that sometimes its purely the people they meet in places that makes them special and will draw them to return...... for me Lubbock Texas is now one of these places.

In amongst the mass expanse of flat land that Texas is, down in an unexpectedly beautiful canyon is the home of my amazing home-stay family, Heidi and Andy Wilson and there 2 sons. They welcomed me into there home and made me instantly feel like I was amongst family despite the fact we had only just met. So even though my race was not the break through I was planning on with there support and friendship the whole experience was a success.

To be honest I picked Buffalo Springs 70.3 for the course, its accessibility to Boulder and for the past start-lists as a race that would be a true challenge but podiums would be in reach. However this year turned out to be the strongest PRO female and male fields ever assembled in the 24 years of the race history. Similar to the quality of the Asia Pacific champs in Auckland, if not stronger. However despite this change in the depth of the field I was still eager to race and get in amongst the top competition.

Training had been going really well up in Boulder and I was loving the opportunity to train full time and train with a great group of mostly Kiwi athletes, specifically Jo Lawn and Armando who had taken me under there wing and been really helpful with training and altitude adjustment advice. I was tired going into the pre race week as had had 2 solid weeks of training but was confident that my body would adjust to the taper week and recover in time for Sundays race.

I had been super prepared for the tough conditions and heat that are tradition for this event and was determined not to suffer the cramping I had in Hawaii. However another break in tradition occurred for this race with very mild Texas temps in the 30's for the entire race which was welcomed by everyone I am sure!

I had not slept well at all  pre race but still woke up excited and ready to race, with the promise of great race conditions and the opportunity that lay before me i was really looking forward to the day ahead. My home-stay very graciously let me choose the pre race music in the car ride to transition and so with my favourite pre race song blearing race energy was ramping up.

The swim was near perfect with a mill pond calmness despite the winds on the flatlands above and with a beach start I got off to a great start. I was with the main group at the first turn and then settled again at the front of the back group of girls as the field spread out. I didn't feel great in the swim but kept things consistent and came out in a PB swim just behind another girl who at the end of the day came in 4th place.

It was great to get out on the bike and after the first few hills were done my legs started to feel pretty good so I settled in to make up the ground lost in the swim. Although I enjoyed the bike course it ended up been a very solo day and I spent the whole ride pretty much in no mans land except for a few glances at the field at some of the turnarounds. I tried to keep my head in the game and keep trying to make up some time but it looked like a long line of girls in front and to far in front obviously for me by myself to get onto the train.

I came into T2 feeling pretty good, a bit disappointed to have not made the gains I normally would on the bike but had felt like I had ridden well with in myself and figured the next girl was only a good days run ahead and still within reach.

So i got a bit of a shock to find that my legs felt heavy and tired as I ran out of transition. I told myself to not panic and just ease into the first couple miles that my legs would return, however as the miles ticked over and my legs continued to feel like i was lugging an extra few kg's of luggage on each leg the reality of the day started to sink in that i was not going to be able to catch the girls unless some one severely broke down.

 As I ran along Energy Lab 2 road I could see the girls in front on there way back from the turn around and apart from the leader they were all relatively close to each other... just too far away for me at the pace my legs were putting out. I switched off from that fact and dug in and made myself just keep chugging along and thankfully.....finally !!! at mile 8 my legs started to free up and i began to pick up my turn over and i felt the relief that one feels when your legs remember how to run and you can finally feel like your a runner again. I dug in and made the most of the last 5 miles that I could, trying desperately to salvage the damage to my race that the first 8 miles had created.

I ran home as fast and as strongly as I could not dearing to dwell on the questions that my mind was threatening to linger on....... why why did it take 8miles to feel like this ......... If only my body had sprung into action earlier............ I refused to dwell on these nor think to much incase my legs reverted back to the pace of the first 8 miles in anarchy of my ungratefulness. These were questions to be shelved and asked only when once the finish line was crossed.

It was hot and getting hotter and my right foot was burning. Yet despite this I held onto the relief i was running...... running freely and surged on the adrenalin of the familiar cheers and comments of surprise at someone running well near the end of the race. Which I now know I sub consciously feed off as a driving force to push harder and firmer, without these in my sluggish state I had felt lost .......

Once I crossed the line the relief that one feels when the distance has been accomplished was quickly overwhelmed as the previously shelved questions came flooding in. I didn't know my time but knowing it was not where it could have been and quite lost as to the reasons why I  headed straight for a small place in a corner of shade to take in and deal with the ambush of emotion and thoughts.

My legs and body once the line was crossed and the effort button released felt good but why when they felt so terrible for such a large part of the run..............

I guess the great part of been amongst such a good circle of people even when so far from home is that you can  only allow your self a short time to question and then you have to absorb and celebrate with those around you, those new friends and fellow competitors for there success and accomplishment and hold onto all the facts not just the hard ones.

Those been that I had beaten the cramps of Hawaii, that although I had not ridden nor run as well nor as fast as I know I could I had still managed to pull out a top 10 place in very strong deep international field. That I had held it together and not checked out even when my body felt like it was not going to show up to meet the challenge. Nothing went wrong nor badly, my body for what ever reason just didn't fire to its full capacity.

So that is the challenge that now lies ahead I have 5 weeks till my next race the Boulder 70.3 on August 4th and more than enough time to make the changes needed to get the body to show up fully in another stacked field on Aug 4th........

As I said in my last race review its ONWARDS AND UPWARDS and I am still on that pathway ........I have still gained some ground..............the hill was just a bit steeper than I planed for and it may take a bit longer  than I originally thought............It maybe a bit disheartening and very frustrating........... but its not so steep that I wont make it to the top.

........In the constant battle that dwells within the river ....between the water and the rocks.......... the water will always win..... not due to brut strength ....but to pure perseverance.........











My Home-stay family and there youngest family member....MR

*****Congrats to Andy and Heidi on there great racing on the weekend too! *********

Ironman 70.3 Hawaii Race Review

So I have not been in a rush to get this race review written and where does one start when reviewing your all time worst ever completed Half Ironman........ I figure with the word 'completed' I made it to the finish line.

Considering when I was a kid, (and in my defence a very young kid) I thought that Hawaii was the little island off Beachlands that you can walk to when the tide is low, and always wondered why my classmates talked about long plane trips to get to Hawaii, I figured it was time I went!

In planning my 2013 race season, I decided I was going to pick out some races in the warmer temps as I don't seem to have a good track record with extreme cold, and with the great Hawaiian airline deals, a quality felid, a great Ironman 70.3 race and a matter of world geography to sort out I figured it was a really good fit.

There were no official home stays for the event so it was pretty stressful and last minute trying to find accommodation. A huge thanks to Brent Tingay is in order as he came to the rescue with the offer of sharing his accommodation, even though we had never met, and what was originally going to be a pull out sofa bed turned into my own room and big comfy bed so it turned out perfectly! It was great having company and someone to train with etc

In the weeks leading up to leaving NZ things got very busy and training got a bit compromised but I still managed to get my key sessions in and going into the race I felt really good about how the body was feeling and confident about racing.

The arrival to Hawaii and pre race week had all gone really well and I was feeling really excited to race! We had had some beautiful training swims in the crystal clear ocean accompanied on a couple days with some rather cute turtles! we had had some windy and hot days but nothing to extreme and the  prospect of the race conditions was looking near perfect.

True to Kona form though the island was saving its best for race day and as I woke up race morning I could hear the intensity of the wind howling past the motel. Our accommodation was up high on a hill so I held  onto the hope that it would be calmer down on the coast.

Wishful thinking that was to be and as we pulled into transition on the bus it became obvious that today would be a very honest day's work.

Wind aside, my body was feeling really good and I had a really good mix of nervousness and calm focus. We had our own pro toilet in our transition area so there were no queues for the bathroom last minute and pre race final set ups and warm up all went well.

I was actually looking forward to the swim as even though it was to be my first non wetsuit swim the water here is so warm and clear that i was excited to be racing in it.

I got off to a pretty good start and swam to the front of a group of girls to try and hold the gap between us and the next group but as things started to spread out and the tapping of the hand behind me on my feet disappeared I realised I was on my own and focussed on making as big a gap between me and the girls behind. I swam really well until about 500m to go when I got passed by one of the girls and started to slow up a bit. As we turned around the last boy however the age group men were around us as they only had a 3min delayed start behind us. So I hung onto as many feet as I could and headed for the shoreline. It was pretty rough going and I got swam over a bunch but I was just happy for what ever tow I could get. It was a blinding view into the sun so we were all swimming blindly to shore!

Considering it was a non wet suit swim I was pretty happy with my swim and arrived into T1 in 6th spot. As I ran up to T1 i could feel the heat and wind but it was not until I climbed up the hill out of the transition onto the Queen K that I felt the true impact of the wind. Despite the wind however I was feeling pretty good and so I tucked in and headed off, By the first turnaround I had picked up 5th spot and was riding well.

However by 20kms I started to get cramps in my adductors and quads and that was the start of a very long and very hard 70km. I lost my 5th spot and was back into 6th. We rode into the headwind climbing right up to the turn around and I was struggling to keep my watts up. I just keep telling myself to stay strong and keep going and some how I managed to pass another girl on the hill and reclaim my 5th spot. Nearing the turnaround I could see the first 3 girls on there way down so I knew I was still in reach. As we made the turn however and headed down hill somewhere the wind changed and it became a downhill head wind. What should have been an undulating but quick whizz back into T2 to make up for the hard slog out there was now a hard slog back to T2

I managed to keep going and get through the cramps. I knew I had cramp spray in my T2 bag so just had to make sure I got there. It was a huge relief to get to T2 even as my legs seized with cramp as I tried to dismount my bike. After nearly falling off I hobbled into T2 and out onto the run guzzling my cramp spray.

I have honestly never felt this bad heading into the run leg and I wondered if I would be able to finish. Somehow I kept going and held onto the thought that my running legs would come back to me at any time. However after a few miles even  though the cramp spray worked it wonders it became very obvious that I was not going to be capable of anything more then a shuffle today.

I decided that i wanted to make sure that i made it to the finish line no matter how long it took me and I held onto that commitment to myself. My shuffle made it pretty easy for the girl in 6th to pass me, and it was gutting to watch my days pay packet run past,  not that she was running very fast though, just that i was going so slow. It got pretty ugly out there and it was just a shuffle to each aid station and a slow walk through each taking on as much fluid as i could. I did my best to be encouraging to the girls who past me but i was in a world of hurt and was not to a wear of what was going on around me apart from the fact that the ground beneath me was not moving fast enough!

I have to say the worst part of the run was when we headed out onto the desolation of the 3mile out and back road. As i headed out along this road i remembered the race director say that people went into this part of the race feeling pretty good but came back looking terrible. I tried not to delve into the thought of what happened to those that were in this bad a state entering into this part of the course. The heat was intense and the surroundings baron and dead apart from the raggedy old goats wandering around the lava rocks. It felt like we were running through Ethiopia not the paradise of Hawaii! The lovely girl in 5th place came trotting past on her way back and smiled and said "its not far to go" but as the road continued further and further into the heat her words of encouragement sounded like some kind of sick joke.

So in the end I crossed the finish line and believe me it could not have come quick enough.

I was so sore and sunburnt and felt sick, I cant remember feeling this beat up after a race except after my first marathon.

So the race did not go to plan at all. I was gutted to have my first race end up this way after feeling so good going into it. I presume I just didn't get enough electrolyte into me and that resulted in the cramps, but it was gutting to have my run go so terribly as that is what made the difference between a solid but okay day to my worst race result ever.

However going back to my words at the start I still finished the race and I can at least put it in the completed race box and not the DNF box.

Disappointed? yes HUGELY!

........but I have definitely learnt from it. To be honest it has ruffled my confidence a bit but things like this happen and its all part of what we do, so as I said the race goes into the completed box and I now move onto the next race with my eye on putting it once completed into the PB box!

So ready to move onwards and up wards? OF COURSE! BRING IT ON!

Ironman 70.3 Auckland 2013 Race Review



Been the first race of 2013, for me this was a pretty special race on many fronts. With 2012 and all its challenges coming to a close and the opportunity for a fresh start in 2013 I was excited to be racing again. The fact this race was the Ironman Asia Pacific 70.3 Championships and was here in my home town of Auckland taking the centre stage of the city, attracting probably the strongest 70.3 international field that I have ever raced just made me even more pumped to get out there!

 It was an awesome opportunity and i had not had to empty my bank balance to just to get to the start line

(a huge upside for this event!) I was feeling very fit, strong and ready to go in all three disciplines.

It was a pretty airy feeling arriving into town at 5am.....

still dark and the town still relatively full of people trying to hang onto the nights parties..... Bouncers still manning the doors of clubs with music pumping and couples on corners dwelling.... delaying goodbyes. Walking through the streets  brought back memories of a couple early morning runs I had done in Las Vagas, all that was missing was the intense dry heat and the endless ringing of the gambling machines.

Once over the bridge though it was game on. The lights bright and the usual pre race music echoing through transition. I took a moment to soak up the energy, I love the pre race atmosphere as tense as

it can feel it is also buzzing. I got my gear set up and my transition space sorted and then headed out on my warm up run. My legs felt light and were moving easily always a good sign!

Warm up went well until I had to run desperatly into the Spy Bar to use the toilet in full 2XU compression tights and thermal top! Got a few weird looks from all the night clubers and had to try not to puke at the smell and sight of the blocked toilets but when you gotta go you gotta go !!

It was really awesome starting the swim next to the princess wharf, with crowds of people above you lining the wharf and cheering. Standing there with the haka going on in the boat in front of us while we waited on the pontoon was a pretty great way to start the race.

I had a really good start in the swim and was with a good group to the first bouy. I lost them on the trurn though and had to swim by myself for quite a while until i caught the feet of another girl and swam with her untill I realised she had no idea where she was headed. Some of the bouys were hard to see but I took the lead and ended up swimming the rest of the loop by myself which was great gving me a small lead on quite a big group of girls going into the bike.

Transition whent smoothley and i could see from the bikes left in Transition still that I had swam pretty well and still had some good cyclist behind me. I headed out onto the bike in 14th place and it was brillaint riding out past everyone through the trank farms and depsite the fog and drizzle it was pretty awesome feeling to be riding over the harbour bridge. The bike course was alot harder than I thought it would be and I rode well but was by myself riding into the wind for most of the bus lane out to Albany and nearing the end of that I got passed by a few of the other pros.

The albany section of the course was grey, wet and quiet, and it was a hard slog back into twon, but once  over the bridge it was back into the crowds and the smooth flat loops of the water front and it was awesome to get to race along there with the support of so many family and freinds.

I managed to finally get free of a couple of the girls I had been riding with and back to transition ahead, however 2 had got away on me. (Awesome riding Rebecca and Hillary!)

Leaving transition I new i was in a good place for the run, you can always tell from those first few 100m and It was a great feeling to have my running legs back!

The Britomart section of the course was slippery in parts with the rain but was laiden with people cheering and supporting and it was a great experince to run by so many family and freinds. Once out on Tamiki Drive it was pretty quiet and was definatly the harder part of the course. I put together a solid run, and managed to make my way up the field from 15th to 11th. I made up 40secs on 10th place in the last 2 km but ran out of "real estate" to catch her, leaving my run for the finish a little too late.

I had felt pretty good on the run, better then I had in the last 3 races so was quite surprised when I saw my run split until the roumours starting circling that the run had been nearly 1500m long!

 I finished knowing I had given it my best for the day. It was a solid performance in all three diciplines and thankfully nothing technical had gone wrong. It was a great event to be a part of and a tough but fun course.

It was as I said a top international field and awesome experince to race them! So even though I didnt manage the top 10 place I was after given a very challenging 2012 I am really happy with how it went.

  

I am looking forward now to some planning time with Coach Walker!! and looking forward to the next race. I know what needs to be improved and how to go about that so bring on the rest of 2013!!



 

Happy with the days work!!



My Sisiter and kids all the way from Cambodia!!

  




















2012 review/rebuild

Sometimes life can just feel like one rebuild after another, just when you think your starting to make progress forward toward your goal a sudden and unexpected turn of events can suddenly have you crashing dwon and struggling to re find yourself, and the way back up to where you were.....

Our life journeys are full of twists and turns and dips and mountain tops and i reckon the further up your willing to climb.... the steeper the slope you choose..... the narrower the moutain peak is that your trying to climb up on...... the greater the risk........ the further there is to fall, and when for what ever reason you do fall the depth of that fall can be easily put out of prespective due to the length of the  fall and the distance back up to where you want to be can look pretty challenging.

2012 after starting with such succes, excitment and promise, has been a year of just that, working hard and climbing to some great heights, only to fall pretty quickly back dwon, further then i think i have ever been, both physically and emotionally before.

 I decided when i started this blog to vow to myself to be honest about things and not cover up with a sense of false optimism when the realitly of life was not all roses. However the last 7months have been hard and with the challenges begining with the sudden illness and gal bladder surgery and the long physical rebuild and healing of that compounded with huge ups and downs in other areas of my life i found it personally easier to just not write then to have to be brutally honest about how hard things have been at times.

However due to the unconditional support of my family and freinds around me and some solid self talk! i have pulled through and am now back in a space where i feel that i can train and enjoy racing again.

I still have a bit to go to be where i want to be but to be honest after the challeneges of the last 7 months I am stoaked to be back racing again and to feel heathly and strong.

I have put together a few solid performances with 5th place in both the Tinman Triathlon and the
Taupo Half, 4th in the Whangamata Contact Tri, and most recently an 11th in the Ironman 70.3 Auckland which doubled as the Asia Pacific Championships.

I didn't quite reach my top 10 goal in the 70.3 but I was close and I was stoaked to be feeling strong again in all three diciplines and to race such a quality pro field in my home twon, it was an awesome day and event!

so with the whole of 2013 lying ahead, and the challenges of 2012 behind me, i am ready and looking forward to a new year full of opportunity.

More then ever I am awear of the preciousness of our health and the blessings of the oppotunities and gifts we are given in life and very aware of the hard work required to achieve my goals. But the truth is I love been an athelete, I love competing and and I thrive off the hard work needed to succeed, I am  putting things on the line so I can live my dream and loving it.....twists, turns, moutains and ditches......... okay so not such a fan of the ditches!

Last year has helped me keep things in perspective and appreciate what I have but at the   same time i have had my eyes open to many more mountain tops that are waiting to be climbed. So fully awear of the risks i am going to keep climbing and see how far i can get, and whether it be the top i had in mind or not I am definatly going to enjoy the journey and the view !!!

have an awesome 2013 everyone......... Go out and embrace what you have and climb some mountains!............ oh and dont forget to enjoy the view!

One Hot Week In Boulder !

There is something ironic about riding towards snow capped mountains through 105 degree heat with a thick warm wind blowing sluggishly past you....... Only in Boulder ah! It's been hot here in Boulder, record breaking hot, we have had a week of 100+ degree weather and unfortunately this has brought about a summer of serious fires in Colorado. There are currently 5 fires with the worst been the Waldo Canyon fire which broke through the fire fighting lines on Tuesday night and has incinerated whole communities in Colorado Springs. It is pretty devastating for all those involved. There is an constant presence of helicopters and air force planes circling the flatirons that shadow over Boulder city and you can see them off loading the gallons of water on the flames and smoke as it billows over the top of the mountains. The fact that the flames are visible not just the smoke is enough for me to have mentally packed my back pack and planned my evac route on my bike! Yet none of the locals seem worried at all so I should take my vibe from them! All seems well and safe so far here in Boulder and it looks like it should remain that way thankfully! Boulder has some great water ways and the Boulder creek path was a hive of activity last Saturday, with everyone cooling off, Boulder style of course... Tubing and tight rope walking! I have even been heading up there to cool off, but i can only go waist deep as am not allowed to swim with my stitches yet. Cant wait to be able properly cool off and go for a swim!! Aside from the fires this week has been about starting to ease myself back into little bit's of exercise, (note the lack of the word training, as that is what it is exercise.... focussing on getting moving again,very slowly!) I have managed some short, flat bike rides amongst lots of rest and it has been brilliant to get out again. However I am beginning to question the words of wisdom from my surgeon pre surgery or should I say my gullibleness (is that even a word!) It seems that I appear to have brought into the per surgery sales pitch that I am now beginning to question the validity of.... Statements in questions #1: You will feel better post surgery than you did when you came in. #2: You will be able to go hiking tomorrow if you want ( the day after surgery) #3: You will be back to cycling and running no worries one week post surgery. So........ The verdict thus far is..... I definitely did not have a miraculous fix post surgery. My body seemed to have accumulated copious amounts of fluid and it wobbled like jelly when I walked. I was sore, weak and very stiff.....Nope cant call that much better than before surgery. If you call hobbling around a super market trying to get some food a hike than maybe number two was accurate, personally I don't, It took me a whole week to be able to walk the very flat bike path up to the coffee shop! So I don't know why i even tried to run one week post surgery as after a few steps it was obvious that was not going to happen so soon, but to her credit she appears to be right on the cycling front, so I have been enjoying getting back out on the roads. Its been slow, flat and short but getting some improvements each day so happy with that. The jury is still out on the last statement in question: #4: you will be back swimming no worries 2 weeks post surgery. I am not holding my breath considering the rotation involved to swim successfully...... but it will be nice to get in and cool off so maybe some kicking will be a good place to start!! Anyway despite the frustration of having to recover and regain my strength and fitness after been so fit and strong i feel very blessed to be in such a beautiful place. Boulder is definitely an ideal place to be recovering and easing back into training, despite the very blunt awareness that I miss my family and friends:) Anyways Bring on week 3 and some anticipated improvements, and of course lots of rest and recuperation!! And the excitement of the weekend is that my favorite Boulder coffee shop 'The Cup' is showing the Tour De France everyday live! so considering Callum and I don't have a TV I am stoked!.

Good Bye Gal Bladder.....will be lighter without you anyways :)

A lot can happen in a week, that is for sure....... Its saturday here exactly one week since i rather meekly said goodby to my Gal Bladder and went under the knife to get it removed. Four key hole scares and a swollen tummy later I am just only today able to manage the walk up the boulder creek path to Pearl street's 'The Cup' to get a decent fairtrade coffee..... its been a long week! so let me take you back a bit and explain how it all got to this....... I returned back to Boulder after the surrealness of the disaster that Boise 70.3 was and was determined to get back into training and turn things around for my next race in Lubbock, Texas. I had 2 weeks... and given my base going into Boise I was confident it was plently of time. However my body had other ideas and on my first attempt of a training session i was hit rather bluntly in the face with the reality of what state my body was actually in. I managed to crawl a measly 2kms, bearly breaking 6mins per sector and i was struggling big time. My whole body had a blanket of weakness over it, my stomach was hugely bloated and felt really bruised and sore and i was faint in the head. I called it at 2km's and walked home, stoping at various vantage points to rest. mmmmmmm..... maybe not quite recoverd yet..... After a conference call with Coach Gordon ( thank goodness for SKYPE thats all i can say!!) We decided to back right off rest and try and shake the bug for good. it was not ideal but what other choices did we have? AS the week went on I rested, and attempted training sessions as planned but the pain i was in just kept getting worse. Apart from the ongoing fatigue and bloating and bowel issues, I was starting to get massive bouts of intense pain, pressure and bloating after meals and as each day would progress the pain and pressure would just increase. By THursday the pain was wrapping istelf around my ribs and into the mid back as well as the stomach and i was to be honest crying myself to sleep after trying to dwon play the pain i was in during the day. I didnt know what was going on i didnt know how to fix it, i was starting to get a bit worried. Come FRiday night 12.30am I was lying on the floor in my room in front of the fan in the fetal position, I heard my flatmates coming dwon the hall, I tried to sit up so I didn't loook completely pathetic, but when they came in I just burst into tears I couldn't tuff it out any longer i needed help. Thankfully Katie had a car and she very nicely said she would take me to the A&E. I went in expecting to just get some antibiotics and some pain relief but instead got a battery of tests and ultra sounds between the hours of 1 and 4.30am and thankfully some pretty amazing pain reilf. ( I knew it was going to be good when the nurse said "let me just lie you dwon to give you this" as she adjusts the bed and puts the rails up on the sides!!) Yip a pretty decent narcotic. She was not kidding when she said this may make you feel a bit loopy!, for the proudly drug free, dehydrated Lawrence it was quite the head spin!!! The varying temperaments of the the on call nurses etc as they one by one got called in from deep sleeps..... eventually eased as they started to figure out that i was actually in pain and that there was more than just a tummy bug going on! Anyways the news came at about 4.30am. It had been a long night for both myself and Katie( what an absolute angel she was staying with me through this even though i was fully awear that it would be ruining her training for probably the weekend, she didnt complain at all,and refused to go home till it was sorted. It meant the world to me to have her there to support me. I had only meet her 3 days ago...... its amazing that unspoken bond of your fellow athlete, when it really counts we are there for each other although at times it appears that each is just out there for themsleves.) The diagnosis, was An infected, very inflamed Gal Bladder and the duct that goes from the liver to the stomach. Plan of attack, admission to hosiptal, meeting with surgeons in a few hours and then surgery ASAP. oh yeah and a whole heap of IV anitbiotics, fluids and pain relief! the doc said most people didnt wait 2 weeks before they got them removed so we didnt have time to wait, it had to come out as waiting would just casue more complications. so that was my weekend drugged up in hospital. One of the nurses said to me, "you dont have to be tough in here, if your in pain let me know, we can fix that"..... that was all i needed to hear i think I left my toughness at the door of the hospital.I was definatly not in my element, needles, blood tests, injections, sugery, high pain narcotics...... I felt a mere shadow of the girl who lines up at the startline that was for sure. This past week has all beeen about recovery. I have some pretty decent looking wholes in my stomach. I feel ike I am 6 months pregnant with all the swelling and fuild build up in my stomach and body but as each day passes, the improvements are really noticeable and I am hanging on to the little gains. Its going to be about 3 weeks of getting back mobile and training again and then I should be all good to get stuck back into things again, which will be great. Obvoiusly this is not going to be season of racing that I planned, and i have been pretty gutted about that, but for what ever reason these are the cards I have been dealt so I am going to work with them the best I can. I had no idea the extent I would need to hear those words from the song on the radio in Boise echoing the words.... "This will only make you stronger..... Stronger..... Believe me...make you stronger"...Ironically or should i more accurately say naively thought that that was as hard as it was going to get....... it appears that that it was actually only the beginning. My Cousin wrote on my face book in response to my last blogg entry reminding me it is not the hardships that define us but our come backs. He told me I was born to do this ...... And if anything through this rather blunt wake up call......... it seems that I finally believe that.....